Receiving Criticism

There may be times when we are criticized, justly or unjustly. The greatest people in the world have been criticized. Justified criticism can be very helpful and should be taken as feedback. Unjustified criticism really is a compliment in disguise. Average people hate winners. When people are not successful, critics have nothing to talk about.


The only way you will never be criticized is if you do nothing, say nothing or have nothing. You will end up being a big nothing.

Unjust criticism comes from two sources:

1.    Ignorance: When criticism comes out of ignorance, it can easily be eliminated or corrected by bringing awareness.

2.    Jealousy: When criticism comes out of jealousy, take it as a compliment in disguise. You are being criticized because the other person wants to be where you are. The tree that bears the most fruits also gets the most stones.


An inability to accept constructive criticism is a sign of poor self-esteem. Suggestions for accepting criticism:

1.    Take it in the right spirit. Accept it graciously rather than grudgingly.
2.    Learn from it.
3.    Accept it with an open mind, evaluate it and if it makes sense, implement it.
4.    Be thankful to the person who gives constructive criticism because he means well and has helped you.
5.    A person with high self-esteem accepts positive criticism and becomes better not bitter.


The problem with most people is they would rather be praised and lose than be criticized and win.

Let The Other Person Save Face…

Letting one save face! How important, how vitally important that is! And how few of us ever stop to think of it! We ride roughshod over the feelings of others, getting our own way, finding fault, issuing threats, criticizing a child or an employee in front of others, without even considering the hurt to the other person’s pride.

Whereas a few minutes’ thought, a considerate word or two, a genuine understanding of the other person’s attitude, would go so far forward alleviating the sting!

Let’s remember that the next time we are faced with the distasted necessity of discharging or reprimanding an employee.

Calling attention to one’s mistake indirectly works wonders with sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism.

Don’t Scold……

If a man’s heart is rankling with discord and ill feeling toward you, you can’t win him to your way of thinking with all the logic in the world. Scolding parents and domineering bosses and husbands and nagging wives ought to realize that people don’t want to change their minds. They can’t be forced or driven to agree with you or me. But they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly.


It is an old and true maxim that “a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.” So with men, if you could win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein a drop of honey that catches his heart; which, say what you will, is the great high road to his reason.


By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected. Two thousand years ago, Jesus said: “Agree with thine adversary quickly.”



Source: Dale Carnegie

Perspective ...

One day a father and his rich family took his young son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose to show him how poor people can be. They spent a day and a night in the farm of a very poor family. When they got back from their trip the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”

“Very good dad!”

“Did you see how poor people can be?”, asked the father. “Yeah!” “And what did you learn?”


The son answered, “I saw that we have a dog at home, and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden, they have the stars. Our patio reaches to the front yard, they have a whole horizon.” When the little boy was finishing, his father was speechless. His son added, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are!”


Isn’t it true that it all depends on the way you look at things? If you have love, friends, family, health, good humor and a positive attitude towards life, you’ve got everything.


You can’t buy any of these things. You can have all the material possession you can imagine, provisions for the future, etc., but if you are poor of spirit, you have nothing!






Source: You Can Win, Shiv Khera

YOU …

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating;
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise


If you can dream – and not make dreams your master,
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same,
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken,
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build em up with worn-out tools;


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginning
And never breath a word about your loss,
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: ‘Hold On!”


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue
Or walk with kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it
And which is more – you’ll be a man, my son!

Remember Names...

Most people don’t remember names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds. They make excuses for themselves; they are too busy. But they were probably no busier than Franklin D. Roosevelt, and he took time to remember and recall even the names of mechanics with whom he came into contact.


We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing…and nobody else. The name sets an individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.


The ability to remember names is almost as important in business and social contacts as it is in politics. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. 






Source: Dale Carnegie

Get the Other Person Saying ‘Yes’ ‘Yes’

In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing – and keep on emphasizing – the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.


Get the other person saying “ Yes, Yes “ at the outset. Keep your opponent, if possible, from saying “ No “.


A ‘ No ‘ response, according to professor Overstreet, is a most difficult handicap to overcome. When you have said “ No “, all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself. You may later feel that the “ No “ was ill-advised; nevertheless, there is your precious pride to consider.


Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it. Hence it is of the very greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction.






-Dale Carnegie